I have been thinking a lot lately and one of the most fundamental aspects in all this is how we bring up our kids. We are all as humans brought up with certain social value systems and as humans, if history means anything at all, it is to be learned and change the mistakes of the past, so humanity can evolve. Some parents unfortunately lack these fundamental value systems and certain vicious circles never ends. A lot of kids grow up with reasonably happy homes and comfortable living standards, but those values of happiness and comforts depend upon each and every country’s cultural aspects and what the parents are able to provide. The values of happiness and comfort doesn’t always come from what we call the richer countries and as time goes by, we see a lot of unhappiness brewing from those types of standards. I think that happiness and comfort are much more simpler than most people believe. We fill up our heads with all kinds of advice from books, tv and sometimes from therapy. Therapy isn’t a bad thing – as long as you actually recognize who you are and make the changes necessary and not use therapy as just an excuse for your behaviour. People who behave in socially unacceptable ways, tend to hide from the public eye with this behaviour. They are sick and at the same time, they know they are behaving wrong. Does it make sense?
We as parents are so responsible for what the future holds… our kids are supposed to be a gift to the world at large, not a social nightmare. Sure, parents make mistakes and the first step is to admitting that we have made mistakes, some mistakes are so tragic, and that those mistakes are sometimes are very wrong and unacceptable and what is required is to make a change and not make the same mistakes all over again. We as parents are role models to our kids, and at some point of your life as a parent, you may see that your kids will look for role models elsewhere, and sadly, a lot of the times, those new role models don’t always have your kid’s best interests at heart. Pay attention to your kids. Don’t criticize them left right and center, they too are learning from their own mistakes… there is not a human being upon this earth who hasn’t made mistakes. Don’t be so lenient either, don’t accept mistakes, use them and teach your kids why it was a mistake and why it was unacceptable behaviour. In every aspect of our lives, we need balance. Life isn’t fair. Sometimes horrible things happen beyond your control, but know the difference.
There are aspects we grow up with as kids such as the happy-ever-after scenarios of fairy-tales. They’re nice to provoke those dreamy-like feelings, but as parents, I think it is also important to teach our kids as much as they can handle how to protect themselves from socially unacceptable scenarios and that they recognize them and to do their best to stay away from those scenarios. There are scenarios in which sometimes we think it is too horrible for a kid to understand – but if that danger is in any possibility a reality in your own kid’s environment, I think that you as a parent have to sit down and talk about it with your kid, that it is not acceptable behaviour. Sometimes, for lack of knowledge, a parent may or may not know how to deal with such a scenario and they may or may not seek an outside source for help on this particular scenario and sometimes that source is not always the best for your needs and it can get really tricky trying to make the right choices. I wish to think that most parents would do their bloody best to make the most viable decisions for their kids. And our roles as parents just seem to get harder and harder, with the economy crashing left right and center, parents doing whatever they can just to survive, and we find ourselves less and less paying attention to our kids (most of the time against our will), our kids are left in the hands of people we don’t always believe have their best interests at heart.
I don’t know where the world is going in all this chaos – but I have the best interests for my own kid at heart. I am doing my bloody best to teach her what matters – I know in certain aspects, I will fail and she will learn from those mistakes, I so hope so. But it scares me to death to let her loose in a world that just seems to become crueler and crueler, or is it my adult eyes that have awoken from my sweet dreams of childhood into the nightmare of adulthood? My own life is not a nightmare and I thank God, my parents for all that. It’s the world at large that bothers me the most.
I was brought up with certain standards of acceptable social behaviours and brought up as a Catholic – being kind to my fellow beings and all the things that Jesus taught, being considerate and to treat people as humans as equals, all with a role to play in life and growing up, I have found that a lot of people are not considerate kind human beings. I have found this totally upsetting growing up. I find it utterly disturbing that these basic qualities of being human are not always what we face each day. I find it disturbing that to face life we have to find a side to us that we never knew and to deal with feelings that are unknown to your growing up. Some kids grow up in disturbing environments and that really bothers me a lot. I am going to add a certain aspect which I firmly believe in, no child should be born unless it is truly loved by her mother. I firmly believe in pro-choice that it is up to each and every woman to decide whether she can or can not provide all the necessary love her child needs. And until the governments of the world think of our children as the first priority for the future and provide all that is necessary for a mother to provide for her every child’s needs- – then I will be always pro-choice until that day comes.
I can’t help but feel, that all future parents of the world, all who are already parents, should have some lessons on how to be human again. I wish that there would be more of “family” values brought back to our sad societies. That there is somekind of hope for humanity to evolve for the better and not the worst. That history is teaching us something and that we ARE learning something. God protects us all. 
– Isabel Gallagher
I dedicate this post to my mother and my father with all my love, thank you for everything and I thank you also for bringing me up with God in my heart.
May God forgive me for the mistakes I’ve made…
